The Misconceptions
Living as an expat wife is not all about drinking cocktails during the day, champagne and caviars at night, or chatting with another expat wife at your favorite cafe or restaurant, or spending hundreds of dollars doing your hair and nails. Living surrounded by luxury and glamour every minute of your life, as many people imagined it.
But why not? With the “package” in which “almost” everything is paid for, there must be economic advantages compared to other people who have to pay the rent, kid’s school, transportation, etc.
That kind of life might be real for some people out there, which leads to the creation of these “exaggerated” image or a stereotype about the expat wives. However (i am not sure whether to use unfortunately or fortunately here) it is not for me.
Sure, I enjoy pampering myself for once in a while. Not that it was a bad thing to have a manicure/pedicure, or going to a salon and sip a nice cup of tea at my favorite café, but I wouldn’t call it a lifestyle.
I indeed pampered myself more when I was single and independent than now when I am married and living abroad as an expat wive.
Living in Singapore is Expensive
One of the downsides of living in Singapore is that it is an expensive country, everything is costly. Coming from Indonesia, where everything is “considered” cheaper than many other countries. It makes me cringe every time I have to purchase something or a service that would cost more than half (most of the time a third of the price) in Indonesia.
The extreme frugal part of me can’t stand the idea to spend money knowing that in other places it costs way more. So, What I would do to get that nice Manicure/Pedicure, or to change my hairstyle, or to get that much-needed massage, or to drink “the cocktail” in the middle of the day?
Is either to get creative or to wait until it’s time for me to go back to Indonesia.
Many times I had to bear with an overgrown fringe or unbalanced glasses on my nose until I was able to go to the hair salon or to buy a pair of new lenses in Indonesia. So that I don’t feel that I wasted money.
Sometimes when things are too unbearable, or my next trip home is too far along, I would search for DIY ideas. Many times we pay for something that is easy and simple. For example, a Manicure/Pedicure, Waxing and cutting fringe in which we can do ourselves.
The best perk of being a stay at home wife
The most Luxurious thing I enjoy most as a wife (as a homemaker) is TIME. It is a great blessing yet it also came with a huge responsibility. I have seen people who had been destroyed by having too much time. If not handled with care, it can become destructive.
Read my other post about Expat Wive on this post.
I realized that I am blessed with it because I secretly wished for it for a long time before. I always made an excuse that I couldn’t find my passion and my purpose in life because I didn’t have time to pursue it. So now I tried to be responsible with it.
I am trying my best not to allow myself to fall into laziness. I am continually trying to fill my time doing something to improve myself. Either to create healthy habits, to find a way to be independent, to find a job, and to learn something new.
How I spend my time
As a homemaker, with no kids (yet) I am quite busy most of the time. If I am not doing house chores (oh yeah, not sophisticated at all), you’ll find me either in front of my laptop writing, watch Youtube (learning) videos, do DIY projects, or go to a language course.
In some not so proud moments, where my husband (unfortunately) never failed to witnessed was me playing games on my smartphone. (which leads him to believe that it is all I do every hour of my life, which OBVIOUSLY exaggerated). In my defense though, it was only 10-15 minutes every couple of hours, those are my “me time.”
Things I need/want to do
Sometimes I think it’s a good thing that I am an introvert person. Because I am used to being alone and able to entertain myself. I rarely feel lonely or bored. I know that I should have explored Singapore, befriend the locals and other expat wives. But I don’t feel quite ready to open up my life that way yet.
There are still posts I want to write, many things I need to learn. About blogging and watercolor, not to mention my yoga practice. But, it was my introvert side making excuses not to do what we had to do. So in the spirit of continuously improving, I have set a goal. To make friends, find a new community, volunteering on some cause as one of the resolutions for the new year.
I guess it always comes back to who you are as a person. Whether or not I have the resources (Money and Time), I am still that girl who prefer to spend my time on the sofa with a good book, a can of sprite and a Korean drama ready to watch (in case my eyes too tired from reading).
Do let me know, your struggles as a stay at home wife or mom (not necessarily an expat wives). What you do in your spare time (if any, for many moms out there). Thank you so much for reading my posts, and as always God Bless us.