To all of you reading this post because you are personally in a mixed relationship, I have been there in your position right now. You are in a relationship with someone that might not come from the same country, or ethnicity, tribes, religion, or many other things that somehow “put a distance” between you and your loved ones.
PS: For the sake of practicality, Mixed Relationship I am writing about is referring to a couple who have different backgrounds, nationality, religion, race, beliefs, society, or you name it.
You know that any relationship is bound to have its own hardships. Even with two people that were born in the same society, cultures, values, habits, and faiths will still have differences. And more than enough examples around us showing how hard “normal relationship” can be. However here you are, finding love and happiness in a person who can’t be more different than the sun and the moon.
You have so many questions about this kind of relationship more than all the available answers out there. I have found myself in similar confusion. Feeling lost not knowing where to ask, too shy to really asked someone who DOES have experience about it. While the people that we know just didn’t understand us enough, because most of them have never been in the same situation.
I am not saying that I have all the answers or I knew it all, but I can tell you about my experience and hope it can help you in a way.
To be honest, I personally don’t find many pros & cons of being in a mixed relationship. Just like any other relationships, love brings out the good and the worst in you. However, there are a couple of “experiences” that you can expect in a mixed relationship, at least some if not all things below :
- It opens up a whole new world for you. You get to learn a lot about new cultures, society, values, language, places in a way you never thought of.
- It enriches your soul. A relationship itself usually make people grow. With the hardships and differences that reach far beyond the normal relationship, your growth will also exceed the normal one, no matter what the end results.
- You have more differences than the normal relationship and usually, those differences are the essential ones. It means you need to find a way to build a longer and stronger bridge in your relationship.
- You will face more rejections and objections from families, friends, and people on your close circle. And sometimes it can make you feel lonely because you feel like nobody understands you. It makes you ended up maintain a “safe distance” with those people.
- You will never really be a part of your old society anymore nor you feel belonged there. Because in order to understand better your significant other, you have to have an open mind. You will learn to look for another explanation, another perspective. Naturally, when you see something from a different perspective, you can see the flaws and loopholes in your old beliefs/perspective. You’ll learn that everything has its own truths…this will lead you to the next point.
- You will lose and found a new identity for yourself that stand somewhere in between yours and your significant ones. Losing some of your identity is not an easy thing to face. You will have to see, admit, and eventually accept your flaws. But it’s the part of the growth that you will face, and it is totally normal.
- You will also finally understand why your parents and the society would at least advised us not to have a relationship with people from different society, background, you name it. It was never really about the hardships that we will have to face with the relationship. It is because it will take you away from them. Not necessarily physically, but there will always be a “distance” that will separate them with “the new you”.
It sounds scary, and you might wonder if it’s worth it. For me, it’s worth every struggle and sacrifices. I have found love and a relationship that is so real, bittersweet, and full of wonders. Had I not decided to continue my relationship with my husband, I would probably never have known “real love” at all.
I can’t tell you what you should do, but I am saying that whatever makes you happy and encourage you to be a better person is worth to fight for. Don’t be discouraged by the height of the mountain, be inspired on what you’ll find on the journey. Try with an open mind, open heart, open arms, and with the intention to LOVE.
Check out these posts about a mixed relationship, if you are interested :
- Four things you need to remember about mixed relationship
- For a bit of fun, there is an article from cosmopolitan here
- Pros & Cons of being in an interracial relationship
Tell me about your struggles being in a mixed relationship, your story, and your experience in a comment or send me an email if you have any questions regarding the subject.
Thank you for reading this post and God Bless us